playing with emotions, playing with fire...

Ok.. Its has been a hell of a roller coaster ride. Being depressed is no joke.. You dont eat well. You isolate yourself. You physically deprive yourself. Socially, you lock yourself up. Its not fair that you do this to ne and dont expect me to be angry.. Who the fuck do you think you are?? You know if i were to walk away or call it quits, i lose nothing. I still have my life and family around. But you my friend, you lose practically half your life.. You'll be alone and frankly back where you started when you first came. Bitch i was sad. I became depressed. And then i forgave. Now im pissed. You dont deserve my effort.. Why? Cause youre ignoring me. And may i ask why?? Cause you found a new toy to play with? You dont deserve anything from mw just by the way youre treating me. You make the effort. You dont respect. And frankly i made the effort to try and reconnect but after that last conversation,the feelings i had just flew away. I cied cause i couldnt believe what was happening.. Your misery made you a jerk. And you had to put it on me.. Qhy do i have to go through that? Why do i have to put up shit with u? Have u ever made the effort??? NO... So till the next time i see the 'old you', have a nice life. Cause im done with your nonsesne. Oh, and grow up will you?

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A letter to you

D,
I want the man I love back:( Please....

M.S. .

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heaven hear me now

As I lay me down,
Heaven hear me now.
I'm lost without a cause, after giving it my all...
Winter storms have come.
And darkened my sun.
After all that I've been through..
Who on earth can I turn to?..
The rain is falling, defeat is calling..
I need you to set me free.
Take me far away from the battle.
I need you. Shine on me.
I look to you...

(My exact feelings... )

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beautiful fate

As sure as the sun will rise, I know the feel of the new day brings about new possibilities. Hopes refreshed. Challenges to face. The problems of yesterdays fade to grey the moment the clock strikes midnight. And I awaken with a sincere smile on my face. The comfort of self satisfaction. Im not perfect. But I know I have to accept my reality before I can make any changes to move on. It has been a.struggle but I've come to terms with myself. And interestingly enough, after I accept myself, life got.a little more sweet. Get over heartache without a care in the world. Accepting constructive comments and bringing myself up. It may be hard at first but who said it was easy.
But life wasnt that easy. Not till I opened my eyes. Through all the fights and misunderstandings I grow a lil wiser. And when Im ready to forgive, I'll love you a lil deeper. Because I know you need that assurance. But I pray that God gives me the strength not to depend on you so you yourself have space to grow. To be a better person. Through our times together I've seen you through many predicaments just as you see me through mine. What I love about it.is that you stand WITH me.

And so as days pass by, I hope we learn alot. Love more. Grow together. Support each other. Forgive. And most importantly.... Live. :*
Love you...

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