the insights to me(amplified)

more jokes baybeh!
happy laughing..


Hooligan Hijinx


A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells "Give me a Budweiser, or...!"
Scared, the bartender serves the man his Budweiser.
This happens everyday for a week straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous wreck.
He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should stand up for himself.
Easier said than done, he thinks, but he decides to try it.

The next day, the hooligan returns.
"Give me a Budweiser, or...!"

"O-o-o-o-r-r-r... w-w-what?" stammers the bartender.

"A small Coke."



Tight Skirt, Bus Stop


One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.

Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said,

"How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"
Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."


Pinocchio and Splinters


One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.

"Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?"
"Have you tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it.
"Pinnochio," said Gepetto a few weeks later.
"How is the problem work out with your "Girlfriend?" said Pinnochio.
"Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?"