arent my prayers heard?

So Ive had this uneasy feeling for quite sometime. I dont know why. I cant explain. How does it feel when someone you love put walls around you so there isnt any means of communication? For no reason(or atleast i think so!). let me tell you how it feels.. Kinda like it was your fault.. Like you did something wrong although I cant remember what I did wrong. My gosh I dont understand why you're being so selfish. And I definitely wanna hear your excuse for it this time cause frankly speaking if I were you, I myself couldn't come up with a damn good reason as to why the walls were up for 2 whole days against me. Im not your marionette to play with. And frankly Ive tried on my part. Tooo many damn times yet you still refuse to budge. Is this what I get for loving too much?? Sweet talker you are. I wanna see how you sweet talk your way outta this. And just when you turn towards me, Imma play your game with you and see how you like it. And I dare you to beg me cause if you do, you'll definitely get whats coming to you. No trust, no us. And you my friend aren't doing anything to make me feel safe. Which makes me wonder.. Whats on your agenda?? Definitely not me. Let me ask you this, if I did the same, would you let it fly by?? There is nothing here which exactly points towards trust. And I thought I was doing everything I can to make it work but you are doing nth. I wanna see what happens at the end of this week. If not, I cant commit. Yes you get it dont ya. Every minute there isnt any respose, I get myself ready for the worse. Lord Im reaching out to you. Ive prayed everynight for this to work but if it has to end like this, I pray you keep me safe and sane cause I know even though I may not be happy about things in my life, you always open doors for me towards more happier, more permanent things. The only thing I can say is it was good while it lasted:p And I learnt from my mistakes. Lord bless and protect me please.

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