Not your property.

"I'll be braver, I'll be my own saviour. Standing on my own to feet.
I won't let you close enough to hurt me" -Adele.

Sigh... Just when you found something beautiful, the voices around you tell you not to keep it. To desert the one thing that finally makes you happy cause all these years the pressure these voices give you bring you to your breaking point faster than it is to say "speed of light". You thought you had the support but it takes you getting into a fight for them to tell you that they dont like it. Cause now that my time is spent elsewhere, they cant get used to the fact. So am I supposed to present myself to you like a slave everyday so you can use me as and when you like?? Im not liberated to have my own life yet? Do you have any idea how old I am? And the fact that I need permission to live my life is quite pathetic. Sadly yes, still being restricted at this age Im positive that I have some sort of mental disorder. Its funny how I havent break at this point cause I cant imagine to what extent I have to go to before I break. You know I always wonder.. If I died, would yall cry?? Right now (and as always) I really dont believe that yall would. Cause yall never really showed that yall care. All yall ever gave me? Was dictatorship. Yes. "Dont do this". "Do that". "Follow whatever I say or I will throw you out". Thats kinda all the words I remember of you. It is so bad to a point where I fear falling ill. Not because of the pain and discomfort. But cause of the scoldings I would get on how I was wasting money falling ill. Cause I know when I wont get compassion but neglect. So I ask, if yall truly think of me as a waste of time then why do you want to dictate my life? I am not a pawn in your chess game. And not your property. I am a human being. A fact you have been oblivious to.

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