Uncertainty

Sigh... It was just a few days ago that we've manage to pull through a rough patch. Seems like you dont mind getting into it again. Im mentally and emotionally drained.. Gosh.. To me it was something so trivial. I apologised. You didnt give me time to speak out but instead you choose to walk away. On a situation like this you chose to walk away. And send me a hate msg too as if walking away wasnt bad enough. One thing about me is that when im quiet, im thinking about alot. Just cant bring myself to say what im thinking. Sigh.........
Once you said you were uncertain of the future if i kept acting a certain way. Well i kinda feel the same way right. Cause now i feel everytime there is something we need to pull through, you just gonna walk away... :'( And if it were something even more serious than this, then what?? What will you do.. Because walking away in itself, is so huge an action i need to rethink what we have. Its sad how it only takes one stupid action to overpower all the other beautiful memories. Yes i did ask you to leave, but that is if you were tired. But you left outta anger while i was about to say something. At 1am. Wow.... Ermmm.. Nice to know now i can only depend on myself:/... Now that one move had to jeopardise the whole relationship. It starts here... And if it progresses, who knows what damage it could have done. And you had to rub it in my face with that hate msg. Ok. Your words hurt me alot. I did apologised and offered to help but you rejected both. So what do you want from me now? Im afraid that in the future if something were to come up, you might do something worse. And would i wanna stick around for that to happen or should i just end it right here right now. Cause it seems to me also that in this situation you only acknowledge your own feelings. And what about mine? You know what? Screw that.. You dont deserve to know since you dont even care at all.... Sigh... I dont know what to think right now cause all our memories just flew out the window. All thats left is your back facing me when you walked away... And there's nothing to think about too cause you always think youre right. So i know there isnt any point in me arguing.. And how you only believe what you think is right even though im telling you the truth.. So why ask me questions if you arent gonna believe em anyways? Im simply wasting my breath on someone that isnt gonna change for me. The future is so uncertain now i dont think there is gonna be a next time. I dun even know if its right to say if anger got the best of you. Im not going to attempt to reach you cause that limit has been reached. I need to be alone to re think everything... If i want to.take the risk and continue this:'( Or walk away saving myself. :'( sighh.... If you want me back, you'd come and get me. Let see if that happens. But lets just say that..... I have no hope that it will happen. :( So every minute longer this awkward silence grows between us, the more obvious my choice is gonna be. Sigh.....

I only pray that God holds me and keep me safe. Cause firstly, putting myself at risk at work to help other people and then this unfortunate event comes up literally being a threat to me and my career. All i wanted was support from loved ones. Not a slap in my face saying that you would touch me only when it is proven that im free of any deadly disease.. Wow:'( erm ok.. Fine... Distance away from me then...
Help me lord:(

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